did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
If I had your ass I would rule the world
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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