He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
