sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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