So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
