I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Houston, we have a squirter
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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