Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
