operation harelip BJ is a go
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
