And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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