No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
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