She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
