I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
i drank out of a bidet.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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