He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
