I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
