you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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