Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I want to stick my p in your. b.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
