i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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