Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I think my moral compass just broke
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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