I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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