I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize
