Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I am one with the molecules
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Randomize
