I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
