I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Randomize
