what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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