I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
