I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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