The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
