I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
