Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Randomize
