Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
