I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
