handjob tips. give me some.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I have post one night stand depression
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