Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
