I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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