her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I showed him my bush... on skype.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
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