You made me cry and you don't even care
wat bout pragnant strippers??
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
