Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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