omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize