it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
