woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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