I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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