Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I have tasted many bathrooms
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
