Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
