I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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