just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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