Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Randomize
