He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize