Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
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