I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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