She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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