why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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