White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize