And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Randomize
