watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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