a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Randomize
