forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
