He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
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