Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
