Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
